computer crashed for two weeks. limited internet. went through a week long road trip from Colorado through Wyoming, Idaho, Oregon and back to California. and tomorrow im on another week long trip in Napa county doing pretty much hard labor. oh my god. everybody is saying, im just going through a transition right now and how im feeling is just for now. its taking a long long time though. i feel i may never be happy here. and then i went with Chris Shymansky to go gay line dancing. for the first time in months, i felt really happy. really excited about something. country dance is so much fun. gay cow boys everywhere! theres lessons in the beginning and then its open dance for all. I had a blast. I had hope. I felt great about myself and felt sociable. i really needed this. too bad my stupid week long trips will prevent me from going as often. i wanna find people to go with as well. going alone is hard.
i miss everyone in southern california. love u all.